Once kids get to late elementary school or junior high, they often want to take a friend along on the family vacation. My 18-year-old, Matthew, starting asking to bring friends along on vacation when he was about 10; Cassidy, who is 12, has just started asking in the last year. Bringing a child’s friend on vacation can be a lot of fun, but there are some things to consider before extending an invitation.

First, is it even logistically possible to bring a child’s friend on vacation with you? Is there room in the car? Will there be room in the hotel, RV, or tent? With four kids in my family, there really isn’t a lot of extra room when we go on long trips (and Kevin, my dear husband, thinks we have quite enough kids to look after, thank you very much!). Which brings me to my second question.

Where are you going? How far away from home is it, and how long will you be gone? The parents of your child’s friend will want to know this information, of course. They might be more comfortable letting their child tag along on a weekend camping trip 50 miles away from home instead of going across state lines for a week or more. Shorter trips that are closer to home are also a good way to test how a child travels with your family before planning to include them in a longer trip.

Think about how you would feel if another family made the same offer to your child. If you would feel uncomfortable letting your child go, it’s likely your child’s friend’s parents will feel uncomfortable, too.

How much will it cost? Are you willing to absorb the costs of another person’s food and accommodations? If not, will the other family be able to afford the expense? If money is a huge issue, as it is for so many of us these days, you might not want to extend an invitation if the discussion will make everyone uncomfortable.

How will adding another person change the group dynamic? When my family goes on vacation, it is the one time that all of us are together for extended periods of time. We really like having time to be together as a family without other friends to draw one child away from group activities. But sometimes bringing a child’s friend on vacation can make traveling easier. My kids range in age from 18 to 2, so it can be very helpful to have an extra older child around. Cassidy (who is 12) has physical disabilities, and sometimes bringing a friend of hers along makes the vacation more fun for her. She can go swimming with her friend, for instance, while other family members go hiking or do something physical that she can’t participate in.

Could you invite the whole family along on your vacation instead? If your family is friends with another family, perhaps you could invite everyone instead of just bringing one child on your vacation. We are friends with a family that also loves to camp and have had joint vacations with them before. This makes things a little easier because you can share meals and have activities together during the day but you still sleep separately and get family time, too.

If you decide that you want to invite a child’s friend to go on vacation with you, make sure that you are the one offering the invitation to the child’s parents instead of having your child ask their child. That way the parents can ask any questions they have and air their concerns with you in advance. You can also find out things like the child’s food preferences or allergies, what the parents might want you to do in terms of discipline, etc. Try to anticipate questions they will ask about money, activities and the time involved in the vacation.

Bringing a child’s friend on vacation with you can be a lot of fun if you plan in advance, anticipate potential problems and have open communication about your plans with the child’s parents.